Scream Queens S01E12 / S01E13: “Dorkus” / “The Final Girls”


Well guys, it turns out the Red Devil was exactly who we thought it was when we bothered guessing: Boone, Hester, with a surprise assist from Pete, who just about shook the shit out of Grace during a close-talking session that spanned most of the first act.

Scream Queens was never actually about solving who the murderer was, so the fact it was the most plausible suspects was 100% fine with me, even if that last revelation was pushed to the second hour of the two-hour finale. Despite Pete coming clean to Grace about his part in the many, many murders, another Red Devil lept from the closet and stabbed him before he could name the final bathtub baby, then (generously) knocked Grace out and fled the room.
Meanwhile, Chanel Oberlin was writing a heinous sorority-wide email. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I think the initial Bitchy Sorority Email that went viral on Gawker inspired this entire series, and the show writ Chanel’s homage to it large with a gorgeous text effect.


Then we learned one of the recipients had forwarded it on to all media to shame Chanel forever:
A humiliated Chanel decided to kill herself by having an asp bite her, just like Cleopatra, but Zayday came in and talked her out of it (and also pointed out the asp was just a garter snake wearing a sweater.) Then another Red Devil came in! But he was just a pizza guy who’d been knocked out, had a bomb strapped to him, and then was dressed in the Red Devil costume! And then he went KABOOM!
Meanwhile, Grace got Weston to distract Dean Munsch while she and Zayday went through the records of the remaining KKT sisters to see which of the Chanels was the final Red Devil. Weston caught Dean Munsch in a sensuous web of 1,000 pillar candles, a masterful playlist, and powerful thighs.
While moans of ecstasy echoed through the thin walls, Zayday and Grace looked up Hester’s records and realized they were all crazy, crazy faked. She was the killer!
Meanwhile Chanel No. 1, No. 3, and No.5 had stopped by the former KKT President’s house as part of Chanel’s apology tour. This was the same President who’d been sprayed with acid and now had a Freddie Kruger face!
Silver lining: she also had a seriously sweet media center.
Meanwhile a post-coital Weston decided that he never wanted to stop making sweet love to Dean Munsch, as they’d just had the best sex of his life. Her listening face was everything during his impassioned speech:
But ultimately she agreed with the condition that he would put a little space between him and daughter Grace and all of Grace’s horrible hats which… reasonable. Who among us would not ask the same?
But then surprise twist! Hester was found with a stiletto in her eye!! And she fingered (hahaha) No. 5 as the murderer!!!
But then as we rolled right into the second episode we got a time jump and almost two solid acts of confessions from Hester, telling us how and why she took out her sorority sisters one by one.


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